Ya'll don't know what it's like

Being male, middle class and white. Sham on.

I had a really good childhood. I have an amazing, loving nuclear family. My parents are still married, and they still like each other. My brothers are great friends of mine and look out for me. I didn't have any abuse or turmoil in my life. We didn't have much money, but we didn't need it. I had clothes and food and friends and love.

My life has been good.

So how am I ever going to become a writer? I've never really seen myself as a creative writer. I'm an essayist, a humorist, a truth sayer. The problem is, I feel that I don't have a place deep within from which I can pull stories of bravery or dispair. I always imagine that any artist has that. A drunk dad who stole her confidence. A tragically dead sister whose loss changed his life. A military upbringing that meant a nomadic life across the globe, with new friends and new experiences and new names and faces. I never believed a writer came from small town America, where her nights were safe and her heart was full.

So what am I going to write about? From where do I pull the stories?

I recently met a man. An intelligent man, who is kind though often conceited. He's shy but knows how to make people laugh. He's quirky and odd, yet knows every meme on the internet. He is spiritual and in touch with his inner self, but normal enough that we can make dick jokes to each other. He's a writer and though I've never read his work, I imagine he's worked hard to make it decent. He left my life nearly as fast as he came, but before he ran away to play ranch hand in Nevada, he inspired me to put my "pen against paper" any way I can. He told me that I should start by writing my biography. I scoffed. What the fuck am I going to put in my biography? I'm a happy girl with lots of friends, a great job, and nary a sad story to tell.

But then I thought about it late into the night. A story doesn't have to be tragic if it has a point. My whole life has been filled with lessons. About how to love and be a friend and have integrity and how to be alone and be brave and be independent. And how to stand up to your brothers and be smart without being crude and be crude without being offensive and to be a woman without being a lady and to be yourself even if it isn't always who others want you to be. These lessons are all the same, they just get learned in different ways. So, I'll give it a shot. I'll tell my stories. The ones that are hard (even if they are just white girl pain) and the ones that are funny (even if I'm not as funny as I think). And maybe, just maybe, I'll write something good.

I. Am rockin' the suburbs.