I'm not really sure why I agreed to this. Is it truly about my health? Is it because normally I don't even care about the toxins I put into my body always? Is it about wanting to be a regular pooper for once in my life? Is it the discipline of it all? Or is it truly just because I heard you lose a few pounds? I don't know the answer. I think right now, after one single day of this stupid, stupid idea, the discipline is the only attractive part about it left.
And guess what? I have none. I made it through today and by the end of the day was so calorie-depleted that I didn't go to the gym. That doesn't sound so productive? The cleanse was supposed to be 21 days. I started a day late and said "I'll do 20 because that event I want to go to is on the 22nd day so I can't really start a day late..." Then today, after drinking my first disgusting smoothie, I said to my coworkers "It's supposed to be 3 weeks but I'll be happy if I just do 2." By the end of the night, I was texting my friend Lindsey who's also cleansing saying "I don't really want to do this."
I don't. I don't feel that unhappy or unhealthy in my life. I don't think that depriving myself of food is going to help me. I certainly don't think not having a social life because I can't fucking eat anything is going to help either.
I guess it's that discipline thing. We're challenged every day by stupid tests of discipline. When we tell ourselves we won't fuck around on our cell phones while we are hanging out with friends but do it anyway. When I tell myself I'll actually work the whole day long and instead really work only half. Every night when I try to go to sleep at a decent hour but end up staying up doing the lousiest, worthless stuff. When I promise myself I'll cook more but always find an excuse to eat out.
We are a culture of kids who know exactly what we should be doing but just can't be bothered to do it.
Will cleansing my fucking colon cleanse me of my terrible habits? I doubt it. I want a corn dog.
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