Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The troof

You lied to me friend. But for my own good. Because of your lie, I continued to believe that I was a good caretaker of plants and now it is one of my favorite hobbies. I have so many houseplants that I have to keep some at my brother's house because I don't have enough natural-light-filled windows to keep them thriving.

In June 2006 I went to Italy for three months and left behind two plants. I left them with a babysitter. A dear friend. When I came back, we reunited -- both friend and I and plants and I. I went about my life and my plant collection grew. I learned that I loved succulents and decided that no less than three jade plants would do. I resurrected an aloe three times and am still desperately clinging on to the notion that I can bring SeƱor Kalanchoe back from his impending grave. See, the thing is... I attach great sentimentality to every plant.

Exhibit A: Typical leafy houseplant. First plant ever. Gift from mom while living in dorms. Accidentally left to die over Christmas break but brought back to life after months of bedside care. Still have to this day. Isn't very pretty. Special place in my heart.

Exhibit B: Similar to A. Ivy. Gift from mom at age 19. Easy to keep alive. Been with me a long time.

Exhibit C: Aforementioned kalanchoe. Gift from my daddy. Can't let it die. It's really ugly. But I can't let it die.

Exhibits D, E and F: Jade 1, zebra plant and aloe. All cuttings from my parents' plants. Feel special connection to them. Want to pass their babies on to my babies. Already started by passing on to sister-in-law.

Exhibit G: TJ. Yes, he has a name. This jade comes from a giant, 40-year-old tree named Tom. I purchased him in Yachats and all of Tom's babies are called Son of Tom. I renamed him TJ for Tom Jr. He is my pride and joy.

Now, let us return to Exhibit B for just a moment. This ivy is the plant from my original story. "Friend" sends me a message tonight and says something along the lines of, "Oh hey, I never told you this, but back in college when I babysat your plant, it died but I just replaced it and you never knew."

OH. MY. GOD. My whole life would have been different if I'd known. I would have stopped saying "look at this cute ivy! I've had it for 7 years and it's always been so healthy." Okay, I don't really say that. But here's my point. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... or something. I'm glad I never knew because this lie has helped turn me into the plant-lover that I am today.

But Marcy Ann, you can bet your socks that it won't be so easy to foil me again. My taste in plants has progressed significantly and fooling me again will be next to impossible. Try replacing this guy without me knowing:
But on another note, thanks for babysitting. I'll be sure to never leave my children with you in case you kill them and try to replace them without me knowing....

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

How to be creative

Well shit. I don't know. I pulled out the old guitar recently. That didn't last long. So now I'm looking for something else.

All I really want to do is write a book. I want to live in a cabin for 3 months and write a book. But that creativity issue is really a problem for me. I think to myself, "self, what can I write a novel about?" and I can't think of a thing. So then I think, "well, what about essays about funny stuff that is real?" and then I realize that not that many funny things have happened to me. So, I'm hoping to be inspired in Israel.

I was accepted to go on Birthright and will be spending at least 10 days in Israel, maybe more. I will bring a journal and I will hopefully get some wham-bham for my writing-noodle while I'm there. I love to write and when I have a topic it comes pretty easily. But as you can see by my epic failure of a blog, the ideas don't flow freely.

The blog of my dreams is one in which I get to do posts about grammar and nerd stuff. Unfortunately, five million already exist and the only way to make that cool is to do something different... like that girl who draws funny cartoons to illustrate her anguish at the world's word stupidity. Need to do something like that....

While I ponder, I'll find a fun picture for this post.